BardDad Wisdom #19 The Grass is Always Greener if You WATER IT

If you don’t like where you are at in life, work on it. In other words, don’t look for greener grass, water the lawn you have. Pull a weed a day and before long you’ll have a golf course.

Introduction: Pondering More than Grass

We’ve all heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” It’s a sentiment that has led many of us to glance enviously at the lives of others, wondering why things seem so much better over there. But what if we’ve been interpreting this adage all wrong? What if the key to a lush, green lawn lies not in looking outward, but inward?

The Trailer in RV Park with Green Grass Meadows

With a sense of adventure and a modest budget, my wife and me, fondly known as Mr. and Mrs. Bard Dad, acquired a 1956 trailer situated in an RV park by the lake. The purchase price was minimal, reflecting the trailer’s dated appearance and need for extensive repairs. The previous owner had “moved up” to a larger, more luxurious camper, leaving our new acquisition in their wake—perhaps, one might say, to “greener pastures.”

To Mr. Bard Dad, our trailer was perfect as it was, but the arrival of winter revealed the extent of work required. Undeterred, he spent each day tackling the tasks at hand, from removing worn-out cupboards and freshening up faded walls to evicting the occasional spider or mouse. Rather than casting envious glances at the luxurious campers nearby, he poured love and effort into our trailer—watering our own grass, so to speak.

Over time, the humble 1956 trailer transformed into a warm and inviting haven, a testament to dedication and hard work. It’s now a place where family can gather, a home away from home we’re proud to call our own. This experience serves as a gentle reminder: before casting envious eyes on the possessions of others, consider what can be nurtured and grown from your own resources.

The grass is always greener if you watter it
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The Other Side: A Mirage of Green Grass Fulfillment

It’s natural to feel pangs of envy when it appears someone else’s “grass” is thriving more than ours. When they have a boat, or a Jet ski or a nicer house. Whether it’s their career, relationships, or personal achievements, it’s easy to get caught up in a mirage of their fulfillment, overlooking the toil and perseverance that have gone into their success. Success does not come from purchasing things, comes from working hard, so you can earn the things you can purchase. But in numerous instances, it is just hard work. Simple coat of paint. A simple day of weed pulling. Taking a day to deep clean your house so you can have guests over with Pride.


A Different Approach: Nurturing Your Lawn

In reality, the greenness of our grass depends on us. It’s about nurturing what we have, watering our roots, providing the necessary care and love. When we focus on nourishing our lives, we foster growth and cultivate our own vibrant green lawn.


The Story of Jill: Envying Her Perfect Neighbor’s Grass.

Consider the story of Jill, a hardworking woman who always found herself comparing her life to her friend and amazing neighbor, Emily. Jill’s longing for Emily’s perfect life consumed her to the point where, she started back-biting Emily with their other friends. Saying things like, “Can you believe that Emily gets dressed up and does her makeup just to go grocery shopping?” and, “I can’t imagine, keeping my house that clean, she must have OCD.”

Meanwhile, Jill, neglecting her own needs and dreams, wore sweatpants to hide her expanding waist line and stuffed things in closets when friends came over to cover up the mess her house was usually in. She sort of gave up, thinking that she could never have a perfect life as Emily. The perfect home, the perfect husband, the perfect kids.

The day came when she realized Emily’s success wasn’t an effortless miracle, but a result of nurturing her own ambitions. Emily felt proud that she looked great when she went out shopping because in may cases she would meet old acquaintances, and it made her feel good that she had makeup on and looked good.

Meanwhile, Jill’s friends stopped visiting, not because of the unkept house, or because of her weight, but instead because of her attitude towards life. They found her constant back biting to be annoying because the things she complained about were actually pretty cool.


The Turnaround for Jill: Blooming with Self Care and Persistence

One very low day, Jill was fumbling around YouTube, watching midless and time-wasting shorts when she stumbled across, Jade Demnar‘s TedTalk called: “The Grass is Greener Where You Water It.” Jill realized that envying Emily was the wrong thing to do, in fact, she missed Emily and couldn’t understand why she let everything get so far out of whack.

Jill made up her mind then and there to fix it. She started tending to her own garden. She bought a rowing machine and lost some weight, replaced the sweatpants for yoga pants and leggings. Invested time in her family, pursued her passion for painting, and began appreciating herself and her personal journey in life.

This newfound self-nurturing brought about a transformation. Her relationships flourished, her friends returned, her art sold on Etsy and became a side gig that allowed her to afford greener grass., Jill’s life changed gradually, both metaphorically and physically. It grew greener.

Woman painting, finding her green grass in life
woman painting on canvas in the 1950s

Grass as a Metaphor: The More profound Understanding

The grass represents all aspects of our life – relationships, careers, passions, children, grandparents, co-workers, pets, hobbies, travel, health and personal growth. The green color depends based on how much we care for and invest in the people and things that matter in life.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.


Conclusion: The Simple, Profound Truth

It’s a simple yet profound truth: the grass is always greener where you water it. Instead of comparing and longing for what others have, we can choose to invest in ourselves. By doing so, we not only make our grass greener, but we also experience the deep satisfaction that comes from #self-growth and #self-love.

So, the next time you find yourself gazing enviously at someone else’s stuff, remember Jill’s story and Bard Dad’s Camper: Pick up your watering can and start nourishing your own personal life. The greenest grass is not on the other side; it’s right under your bare feet.

Kevin B. Leigh 7/5/2023

Just a little boy from Ireland, who became a staunch American while raising three boys, creating three companies, and being married for 30 years